Starting new things is hard. Habits are both hard to pick up and put down. It's why we look forward to the promise of New Years.
Writing didn't used to be hard for me. In college, I used to write every single day it felt as though words just flowed. I don't think I've written since college and boy, do I feel it. When I chose to be an English major in college, I always said I wanted to be an editor (the practical choice) but if I was really honest with myself and others, I wanted to be a writer (the flashier choice). Now I'm both neither of those things and left with the question of "Now what?"
I know that God calls us into more than "Now what?" He calls us into an exciting life that is both with Him and for Him, and in that, asks us to draw on the talents He so perfectly knit in us with the intention that those talents, expressed and exercised, will draw more to His perfect Kingdom. Is it a sin then, to not live into the calling of the talents He's generously given to us? This is a question I wrestle with.
God both calls and gifts us into different reflections of His perfection. Where some express His deep empathy, others express His loving, perfect justice. Where some exercise His loving-kindness, others speak His truth boldly over others lives. So what I'm asking myself lately is: How is God calling me to express His Kingdom and why am I scared to live into that? What is He asking me to let go of so I can live into what He's called me to?
What has God called you to? Is He asking you to let go of something in order to take up more of His kingdom?